DINNER SLAUGHTER AT THE DUKE’S

Thursday, September 30th, 2010

I was chomping on a lovely bowl of green beans, see the aforementioned DIET, when this little delicious little bags of bones hovered above my garbage disposal.

Eating a meal is what got me in trouble, too.”

Good god, I thought, I can’t even eat my healthy bowl of cardboard in peace.

“I am the Count of Horn! I was lured into the slaughter by my alleged best friend, Fernando. The stupid Duke of Alba. You know, every since he got that title, he’s been acting like he’s so much better than everybody else. Please, I am the COUNT OF HORN. A Count is way way way better than a stupid Duke.”

I laid on the ground like this. Maybe, if I played dead, this jag-a-lope would take his stupid severed head and go home…..

No such luck. The time suck continued.

“I mean, OMG. I know it was 1567, but it seems like it happened this morning. I mean when you best friend in the whole world tells you, hey buddy c”mon over for a sleepover party with the Egg-fart, the Count of Egmont, you don;t think Oh, jeez, I should probably bring my toothbrush because I’m gonna get falsely arrested tonight….you just think I better bring my toothbrush to brush my teeth after we pig out on pizza and junk food. Ugg.”

I sat up and gave him the old shut it eye stare, but he could not have been paid to give a care.

“So, he arrests me. Can you believe it? At first  I thought it was a joke, like  the time we locked Egg-fart in the horsebarn all night. Classic. But no, this time, the Duke was seriously on a roid rage. And then he calls us up, In JUNE, and I think ok here goes…this is gonna be a practial joke…but no….that poop-face chops off my fricking head.”

Then, I remembered how much I needed to practice my kickball skills…..bye bye head….that stupid decapitated head floated right out the window and sloshed on the ground like a moldy cantaloupe. True, the physics of it is confusing…if he’s dead, how can his head still spill out brains…but, really I can’t be paid to give a care right now because I ate a tur-ducken for a snack (that’s a secret, so if you break my confidence, I’ll put your nuts in a blender) and I am sleepy…..

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Category : alleged famous ghosts

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2 Responses to “DINNER SLAUGHTER AT THE DUKE’S”

  1. zerodtkjoe says:

    Thanks for the info

  2. erin says:

    This decapitated head looks delicious.